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About Digital Art / Student Member DelphineApolloFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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So far I haven't learned a single thing from my past failures. At 8 years of attempting to learn, with the full intention of becoming a professional illustration, I have not a single drawing that I like, or that I am not ashamed of. I can barely stand the work I crate. It's horrifically bad and I don't even want ownership of it nor do I want to acknowledge it or to be associated with it in any manner.
As I look over my own gallery I don't see progress, instead I see the same mistakes over and over again. Not just any mistakes but, the ones I have been making an active effort at improving. I tried to improve accuracy in general and yet everything I draw ends up as a Misshapen mess. None of the angles are correct and not only do my subjects end up as amorphis blobs but, it takes me several hours to go through these. Not just a few hours but, usually an unreasonable amount (even not comparing myself to other). When I try to proportion a person or an object correctly, everything ends up terribly inaccurate. I've been though "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" but, it didn't seem to help. When I try figure drawing my figures do not resemble the subjects in any manner. The results of my work barely resemble human beings. I'm still a loss of where I'm going wrong. I've been through pretty much every Andrew Loomis and George Brigman book yet I can't seem to actually use any of the information from the books on any of what I draw. I've been through several life drawing courses and I feel like I have learned nothing at all.
A lot of people claim there are no shortcuts but, I can say for certain that I have found a much longer and more inefficient; simply practice and try to learn from your mistakes. 
So far self teaching isn't working for me and I can't seem to follow tutorials well enough to actually make use of their information. I can even watch videos, attempt what the creator did in the video and learn absolutely nothing from it. Even repeat viewings don't seem to change things. College hasn't helped at all, the instructors were awful. All they did was praise me and refused to provide even the slightest hint of critique. The classes outside of it were basically glorified, overpriced hug boxes. No matter where I went the instructors would dodge my questions and tell me I was doing fine. I can find tons of online courses but, I have not a single review (not counting testimonials) on the quality or content of the course. I'm skeptical for the but, they might just be my only hope when it comes to drawing. Maybe I need to try hiring someone again but, how would I even do that? How do I filter people out so I don't get the same type of people who taught my college classes and how much do I offer them per hour?

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:iconsachi-pon:
Sachi-pon Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i am looking at your page and art again and since i've talked to you and looked at your art multiple times before, i have decided to watch you! normally i don't watch strictly realism artists like you but i just want to see what you'll do next so i might as well watch you. i'll try to help you! i don't like to see other artists suffer =( and i am genuinely interested to see what you'll do next.

i'll comment on a couple of your drawings too but first i have to give a general comment.

i've told you before, you don't seem to have a clear vision as to what you want to do with your art and what kind of art you want to do. well, now i see that it seems you want to stay as a realism artist. so i guess you want to do things like technical drawings, diagrams, things like that? like, you know how medical books, instruction manuals, and other types of books have to have very realistic, clear, accurate drawings? that could be what you do. that looks like the path you're on. or maybe you have a different goal. i'm not sure so sorry if i got your goal wrong. but you do need a goal to head toward. that is very, very important.

secondly, as far as practice drawings go, maybe something you can do is redo some of your practices. look at critiques you've gotten on a specific drawing. then, redo that drawing. you can redo something you did two weeks ago, or two months ago, or even years ago! even if you've done this kind of thing before, there's no reason not to do it again,

thirdly, i said "as far as practice drawings go" because... i think you need to do more than practice drawings. that's what i said before but i still feel that way now. i don't see much completed work in your gallery. i mean like a work that has full details and shading and maybe even a background. i also think you should try color but if you really don't like to use color than fine, just do some grayscale works instead. for a "finished picture" i think you should at first copy other pics but soon, quickly move on to doing your own original idea. but you can be original and still be realistic. what you can do is maybe look at a photo and change something in the photo i guess... so that it's kinda your original idea but kinda a copy. but then move on and do some original (but still realistic) works.

fourthly the reason you always feel unsatisfied is that you tell people not to compliment you. so they can't tell you what you are doing right?! i think that critiques should cover right and wrong, not just wrong. if you know what you're doing right, then you know your own strengths. then you can focus on your weaknesses only. plus you'll feel better about yourself. so i think you should stop asking for "extremely harsh" crits and don't say "compliments are unwelcome." i know a compliment like "great work" won't help you much, i mean like "the anatomy in the legs is very accurate, but you should improve on arms" or something. so you know your strength is legs and weakness is arms. (that's just an example, i made it up)

the main point of my comment is, you say you aren't improving but you are improving. you do have some skill, it's just that you never really apply your skill to a finished piece. everything in your gallery is a sketch or a non-detailed work. i don't see actual finished, complete things.

what i've figured out for you is that you have a comfort zone that you are not breaking out of. i'd say a good artist attempts to do things that are outside their comfort zone, which means doing things above what they feel like their skill level is. those attempts may not go well at first but eventually, things will get better. so yeah i think that sketches and non-detailed works and copied works are your comfort zone because you keep doing lots and lots and lots of those but little to no finished works. so clearly, you have a strong work ethic and are putting time and effort into drawing. in fact, you have a better work ethic than i have! but you have to be spending that time on the right things. you're putting that time into incomplete works but you should also devote some time to complete works.
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:icondelphineapollo:
DelphineApollo Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Sadly it looks like I'm going to suffer for a while longer as I still hate my artwork. It looks objectively horrible to me and I still want nothing to do with it.
Well, my current goal is to understand the basics. It has been for quiet some time. I don't know what else to set as a goal at the moment since getting basic things down like proportion,anatomy, perspective or even being able to draw simple objects that are in front of me. I don't really know how to have more of a direction than this at the moment, especially when my "progress" (if it can even be called that) is so meager.
I'd like to know how I'm suppose to do something more than practice when I seem to be missing the lessons I'm suppose to learn when I attempt it.
My ability to draw seems really random. Sometimes I can put in 40 hours and get something that looks like I took less than 2 hours to do. No idea on how to fix that.
I wish I could say I had a comfort zone but, at the moment it doesn't look like I do. I suppose trying color is next but, my previous results with that have been worse than without it. Eventually after reaching a certain point in drawing and not progressing I need to move on. Even if I take long breaks on a work I still find myself unable to move forward with it. 
I have tired not asking for harsh critique but, every time I stop asking I end up with unwanted comments that are just more mindless praise.
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:iconeozspike:
Eozspike Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fav!
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:iconthepianistdragon:
ThePianistDragon Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you +fav I am a dummy! 
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:icontheotherkilroy:
TheOtherKilroy Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I saw this and I thought of you. :)

fav.me/d7yvuj9

I adore your thumbnails. May I use them for practice?
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:icondelphineapollo:
DelphineApollo Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Go ahead. 
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:icontheotherkilroy:
TheOtherKilroy Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yay! Thank you! Love 
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:iconsquabbit:
Squabbit Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for the fav!
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:iconisuckatliferealbad:
ISuckAtLifeRealbad Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
Having that I Can't Improve Mindset Doesn't help
Saying "i've been drawing for 8 years" doesn't mean a thing, because the Amount of effort you put into drawing is what matters.
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:icondelphineapollo:
DelphineApollo Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I've been putting all my effort into learning so, I disagree.
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